Today marks a momentous occasion. I wore a teal shirt to work today. Atop of this teal shirt, laid a nice black tie.

I got this shirt from Express. A nice gay man picked it out for me saying “This makes your eyes look great”. This is all I had to hear of course, and didn’t need to try it on, but try it on I did. Linda gave a smirk, a smirk that would make you think, “Hmm. Is she doing that because she’s thinking, oh man, I got the hottest dude ever? Or is she smirking because she thinks I look like a capital Douche bag?” Not giving a shit really what her opinion was at all, and sticking with the gay man, I took the shirt.

Today I finally got to try it on. I ironed it out fairly nicely the night before, to ensure there were no wrinkles. There were still wrinkles. I will leave ironing to Linders Ironing, Inc. from here on out. I walked into work and from the outside doors, I already saw the employees staring. Immediately I was greeted with good remarks. These remarks continued throughout the entire day. I only received a few negative remarks. Some were from the geek squad nerds. And some were from my friends. Oh and some were my girlfriend. But she now insists that she’s kidding.

So from the above I have gathered the following:

The people at work were fucking sucking up to me because they work for me and think that they need to be nice to me, while my friends outside of work look at me with utter disgust and disappointment as I frolic around in my teal shirt.

My response:

I think I look pretty fucking good.

Teal is here to stay, friends. Next stop fuchsia!