being that guy since 1982

Quite a topic changer, but we need to talk….

So I was informed that Linda gets questioned a lot that people think I am a homersexual. In fact, there is even an act of surprise when Linda tells them I’m not. This is a story I have shared with you all, nothing new to you..

Well we have gone on to do some field research on this. Linda recently acquired an iPhone from her sister and broseph-in-law. On this iPhone you can get applications. One of the applications Linda has on this phone is a rating system. This rating system allows you to upload a picture of yourself and have people rate you on your looks and leave you comments. You can get either a thumbs up or thumbs down, leave a comment and even send a picture directly to that person.

Linda took a picture of me on Wednesday and put it up on the system. We had been looking through the pictures and we saw a girl left a headline on her photo of “Tell me what you want”. Finding that hilarious, we put that up as mine as well. Fairly quickly I received 2 thumbs-ups and a comment. The comment was from a dude and it said “Ur Penis =D”, clearly in response to my Tell me what you want question. The thumbs ups and comments continued to flood in.. THEY WERE ALL FUCKING GAY DUDES.

We received a picture, it was a dude looking down at his body under the sheets with his hand under the covers. Gross enough.. so Linda decides it’s a perfect time to send this guy a photo response of my clothed crotch while I am driving… She’s not helping my case…  I get back a naked man thigh.

Lunch yesterday, Linda and I are enjoying a delicious plate of fried lasagna.  Perfect time to whip out the iPhone, take a picture of me and add the caption “I want ur cock”, right? Well Linders certainly thought so. Immediately after posting my picture on there, we are given thumbs up and then it happens. Pictures of throbbing cocks, naked men in the mirror, and dudes staring creepily from their bed into the camera start flooding in. Linda almost hurls 97 times reading through the messages.

At this point, there is no point trying to fight it as the entire iPhone hotornot rating system populous find a dude by the name of Lin Packard and my mug to be a homosexual. So we do what is probably the best idea ever. We get hammered, goto Denny’s, order Cappuccinos, rub whip cream on and around my mouth, pose seductively and send off some fucking photo responses.

Seriously people, I have no clue why you think I’m gay.